Is you child overtly defiant, rowdy, loud, whiny, and over annoying. Does he con constantly misbehaves in public or private or in plain simple words, is he just- rude.
If your child displays any or all of the above mentioned traits, one thing is clear,- your child seeks your, or anyone’s ATTENTION.
Here are a few guidelines which I found quiet helpful while coaching parents to raise difficult and rowdy kids:
- Offer your kid food which is non-messy also give him drinks in spill proof containers.
- Communicate with your child when you see him loosing his/her temper. Ask if him if anything is troubling him. Try to arrest his unruly behaviour before it gets bad. Tell him what you would do in case you were him.
- Make your child aware that the choices he makes are your choices too. In case you want him to like/appreciate something else, share your example that why you chose something else. Give him rational reasons rather than emotional ones.
- Request his school teacher to participate in helping you address his rowdy behaviour. Request his teacher to pair him with a calmer kids. When a kid likes another child, he/she will do almost anything to keep their approval.
- While training your child, try ignoring his “rowdy behavior”, however if the child does the right thing, take no time to compliment him. In social gatherings, get other kids to support you by saying things like “Did everyone notice that –Rahul helped Mayank fixing his broken toy. Let’s clap for him!”
- One important thing to learn while addressing an unsettled behaviour is, try to assess how long the your child can hold it together. Then head off the problem by giving him something else to do before he disrupts. For example, in the middle of the story whisper to him to go get you a glass of water or throw tissue in bin.
- Try building friendly relations over dinner table or while he is at play, make him larn to listen to you gently by offering your kid choices, rather than a Do or a Don’t.
- Try getting one thought correct- “Your rude behaviour or shouting or scolding will not help you fix his rude behavior.” A rude behaviour is a silent language of your kid that expresses his frustration or anger. One rowdy behaviour can never fix another rowdy behaviour.
- Remember kids powerfully believe in magic and the power of super heroes. If your kid does something good, make a big deal about how you can see image of their favorite heroes in them when they do all the good work. For example if you see your child kicking stones with their shoes try telling them that their favorite Hero guided you to purchase these special magical shoes for walking and not for hitting stones with. So when he maintains beautifully his magical shoes, his superhero will be super happy.
- One habit at a time RULE. Focus on correcting one behavior at a time( running, cursing, shouting, bullying etc.). It may take a while for “rowdy” behavior to dimnish, if addressed carefully. Even let your kids teacher be aware of what you are working on so they can also focus on correcting that “one behavior” at school.
- Compliment positively your kid in social surroundings. Make him feel comfortable with new people and social environment.
- Give your quality time to you kid in building a strong a lasting relationship, it is surely going to pay you through out your life.
- Mindfulness training of children with rude and disruptive behaviour is a must. Train your kid in mindfulness and see miracles happen in your kid’s and your life
Children at a young age are vulnerable into becoming “brainwashed”.
By following these simple steps, building strong bonds with your kid will not only help correct his rowdy behaviour but also lay a strong foundation of his successful, healthy and positive future life.
images: courtesy google
Dr. Amitabh Singh is the founder of AadyantaLife. He provides alternative and complementary healing therapies to difficult ailments including cancer. He specializes in Mindfulness Meditation coaching for corporate and business leaders. His thought provoking enlightening lectures are for those who are interested in alternative ways to improve their lifestyle and well being.